New year, new me
Are New Year’s resolutions still a thing? I’ve always made them, but I’m not entirely sure I’ve truly completed one. Maybe that’s the Asian-taught humbleness in me, trying to downplay my own accomplishments. Maybe I’m just bad at setting realistic goals. Maybe it’s cause I’m still at an acceptable age where identity crises and reinventions are normal and expected, so I don’t reliably follow resolutions I made 6 months ago.
Really, I think it’s because yearly goal setting for me is more done as a holiday tradition than with true intent.
I hope.
Anything worth “resolutioning” is worth starting now
I’m quoting Boyfriend, but this is also the general sentiment of the people I’ve polled. And, superficially, I think this is true for me too.
However, although I love starting things, I’m not the best at ending them, and that is something I would like to change. Not verbatim become “the best” at ending things, but maybe reach some OKR to prove that at the very least, I’ve made progress on something within the last 12 months and deserve a promotion to whatever the next level of adulting is.
So, the big question for me moving into 2024 is, how should I go about getting to at least one end?
Shoot for the moon, and you’ll land in the stars
My biggest spirals of 2023 were centered on if I truly wanted the moon, or if I say I didn’t want the moon cause I’m not confident in my ability to execute, or if I actually had the moon, but couldn’t recognize it cause I was brainwashed by the tech bubble and lacked perspective.
Although I never defined my relationship with the moon in 2023, I will say I had a lot of fun amongst the stars. Stars being the little hobbies and new joys I found while bumbling around trying to find meaning outside of my career. I guess you could say 2023 was the year I chose to spread my XP points across the whole skill tree instead of attempting to min-max life.
Anyways, I do kind of miss the days when horny brain told me the most pressing concern was finding a monogamous lay with strong communication skills. I mean, I literally touch this goal on a weekly basis now — ideally daily if we move in together in October — unlike this prude metaphorical circle in the sky, which at this point, is too contrived of an example that I even want to touch it anymore.
I guess you can say I replaced boy troubles with existential troubles.
Who knew reliable d*ck was a double-edged sword?
Forget about the main quest line
This is what I’m trying out for 2024. As someone who very much falls under the “prefers instant gratification” category, I realize not achieving goals immediately is usually the catalyst for my existential dread. As a result, the little hiccups of life often feel far more pressing and impactful than they actually are.
So, as my 2024 experiment, I think I’ll try expunging “long term goal” from my vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be maxing out my 401k and the like, but for the most part, I think I’ll focus on finishing all the side quests first. Progressing the main game can come later.
Translated into IRL speak - I’m just gonna make New Year’s resolutions for January.
February can come later.
Let’s take a look back
Before I unravel an endless list of resolutions for January, let’s first rehash what my plans for 2023 were:
I think my primary focus will be cultivating the seeds I’ve planted in 2022: progressing my career, deepening my friendships, and being more transparent with my parents. Also, since I finally executed the ho phase I didn’t get to manifest in college, I’m ready to change aspiring fuqgirl to retiring fuqgirl.
So, if you know any hot guys thirsty for yet another Asian girl with a substack, send them my way, and let them know my secondary goal in 2023 is a fat ass.
Oh, and tell them I’m a mommy.
So, how did my 2023 report card shaken out?
Progressing my career
B+?
Unfortunately, with the economic downturn, my company went through a round of layoffs and restructuring, so I was pulled from my old team. On the other hand, I was put on an extremely high-visibility, high-impact team. Regardless, the credibility I had built up with my previous manager and the promotion plan we were planning went out the door.
Looking back, I think starting 2023 off this way was a huge hit to my girlboss aspirations. In a way, it pulled me out of the dreamy illusion that my company loved me as much as I loved it. And, in turn, pulled me out of the desire to expend effort girlbossing a company to success when I could divert that energy elsewhere.
I will admit, I no longer feel the relentless ladder-climbing, professional drive I did at the end of 2022. But for the 2023 me, I realized title and compensation were just arbitrary milestones. Extra padding for a comfortable life? Yes. But definitely not a critical stepping stone on my journey to whatever long term goal I have hiding in the back of my mind.
So, for January, my plan is to be a rockstar at implementing an initiative I proposed last year and write a kick-ass strategy doc for 2024. Past that? Who knows? But I’m happy with that and believe it will put me on the right track to the big amorphous blob that is “the future.”
Deepening my friendships
A++++++++++++
You know who you are and hell yeah I love you!
Let’s hang January. You have my number.
Being more transparent with my parents
WITHDRAWAL
Kind of. I’ve achieved this insofar as being more confident and forceful when telling my parents I’m no longer religious. But really I haven’t had the opportunity to be transparent with my parents this year because I have, in general, talked to them far less this year than I have in others.
I am also not quite sure how I would define “transparency” with my parents anyways. I don’t need to tell them when and where I’m doing what with my ladybits, but I do think I should tell them when I decide to *gasp* move into a 1-bedroom with Boyfriend.
I guess I’ll make an exception and mark that as an October 2024 goal.
Change aspiring fuqgirl to retiring fuqgirl
A++++++++++++++++
I wrote a birthday blog for Boyfriend. Enough said.
Let’s hang January. You have my number.
My secondary goal in 2023 is a fat ass
F
If anything, I think I achieved a flat ass sitting and being happy and eating and playing video games. Whoops. Can I blame it on relationship?
In the spirit of traditional New Years resolutions, health will also be a 2024 priority. Meaning, in January, I would like to go to the gym at least 4 times.
In summary
So, just to list out everything I would like to do in January:
Do my job well in January
Hang out with friends
Hang out with Boyfriend
Go to the gym at least 4 times
Come up with 4 ideas with soft conclusions for a Modern Love NYT submission
Finish a chapter of a book from a book club
Write a blog post on whether or not I achieved these goals
See y’all in 2024